Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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