I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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