wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
