I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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