He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
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She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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