she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
