the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This house was built for laser tag.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
