I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
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At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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