At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize