Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
