The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
