i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize