just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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