your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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