Can i not drive my cunt home
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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