also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
