Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
