PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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