i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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