I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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