I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
