In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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