i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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