She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
