How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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