We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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