He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
