woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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