IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."