I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
