I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
