I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
