Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
id be glad to
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
