i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
