you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
