Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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