i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
