i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
