I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
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hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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