I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
