I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need a beard to bite.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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