He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
