That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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