your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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