Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize