Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
