U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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