I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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