I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize