I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
