But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
