i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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