You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
this will be a night to untag.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
