saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
