I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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