I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
