im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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