Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
you never un-have a 4some
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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