Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I would fuck him just for his dog
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize