Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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