yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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