I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
